


The 5th day of March: the next step

by BflyW



Series: The 5th Day of March [5]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Happy Ending, M/M, Sickfic, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 11:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13879491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BflyW/pseuds/BflyW
Summary: It’s been a couple of years since Jared proposed to Jensen, and the wedding is coming close. Moving Miranda’s to a new location, while planning a wedding, sounds like a really stupid idea, so of course, that’s exactly what they are doing.





	1. Chapter 1

_Jensen was 10 when he tasted his first danish pastry with raspberry filling, and it was the best danish he had ever tasted. Since then, he had tasted countless pastries, but none of them had tasted as good as what he tasted the day he was 10 and sat in grandma Miranda's kitchen. The air stood still that day and the heat wrapped around him like a blanket, but all he could sense was golden crispy flakes filled with velvety vanilla and topped with sour raspberry jam. He could sit there forever and see how grandmother miraculously transformed butter, flour and sugar into golden pieces of heaven._

_Every year, as faithful as the birds returning in the summer, he returned to Miranda's kitchen._

_As he grew older, he spent less time in the kitchen, and more time in the storefront, but he never became too old for the sacred 15 minutes before the shop opened. Every morning, while the last serving of pastries baked in the oven, he and grandma sat down. She with a cup of coffee, and he with a cup of cocoa, and they tasted the pastry of the day. "To check that we do not sell inedible goods," Grandmother used to say with a smile, and Jensen nodded in agreement while taking the assignment seriously. Although there was never any doubt that as long as Grandma Miranda had baked the goods, they were edible._

"The coffee is ready," Jared's voice brings Jensen back to the present and he looks up from the picture he holds in his hand. It is a faded picture, its colors long since yellowed by the sun. On the picture there is a 12-year-old version of himself smiling back at him,with a large piece of pastry in his hand.

"Thank you," he says, taking the cup that Jared holds out for him after putting down the picture. He glances into the cup and shakes his head laughing.

"What?!" Jared does his best to look innocent.

"Figures that when you finally learned how to make latte-art, it's in the shape of a dick."

"Of course," laughs Jared, "what else should I make?"

"I don’t know, something more appropriate would be good."

"But that’s no fun," Jared grins back at him.

"Just don’t let me catch you doing that for a customer! I cannot risk complaints that my employees behave inappropriately." Jensen looks at him strictly and points his finger to emphasize that he is serious about it. "I mean, Jared. Don’t do it!"

"Relax! I'm just doing it to you. Besides, I'm not employed here."

"As if it that has ever stopped you from standing behind the counter."

In the couple of years since Jared stopped working at Miranda’s, they have spent some time finding balance between them. It was challenging when Jared worked for Jensen, both in terms of switching between being the boss and the boyfriend, but also because they knew that Jared was given more leeway at work, because he were also Jensen’s boyfriend. It was hard finding the line between helping your boyfriend out and taking responsibility as an employer.

The decision to let Jared go at Miranda’s was the hardest decision he ever made in his life. But he is very happy that he did it. He is happy that he can stand up and say that he did indeed make the right decision. He decided to do something when he realized that the situation, as it were, was no good for work, but more importantly, it wasn’t good for their relationship. And he is happy that he, in the end, also listened to his own body, and realized that there is only so much he himself can do to compensate for Jared’s disability. He cannot compensate for everything the illness takes from their life – he cannot do the work of two; not at Miranda’s, and not at home. It was the right decision to say that they needed help, so that Jared would get the time to “be a professional patient,” as he calls it, and have some of the income compensated by a small but steady disability pension.

He is also very happy that Jared beat him to it, that he was the one that said “enough” before Jensen was able to, that Jared can go on knowing that in the end, it was his own decision to say _enough_.

He had never expected the process of getting a disability pension would be so hard though, and definitely not the avalanche of feelings it would set off when it finally came.

He had never realized that Jared would _mourn_ the loss of a job. Not necessary _this_ particular job, but working in general. He had never realized that for Jared, this was permanently closing the door of the life he had thought he would have.

~*~

It took a while after receiving disability pension before Jared began to come by Miranda's again. In the beginning, it was a day now and then, but gradually it grew to be weekly, and then a couple of times a week. He would sit by the counter and talk with those that were on shift that day. Chatting, small talking, making jokes; communicating with other people. Staying in the house by himself, didn’t go well with a social personality like Jared’s. He needed input, he needed to meet people face to face, and he needed to feel that he was part of a community.

Being away from other people for too long made Jared depressed.

He needed to greet someone hello, and knowing that someone has felt that they have been seen by him that day. That he has paid attention to them, and wished them well. He needs to say “hi, nice seeing you again!” He needs to ask “how did it go yesterday, did you do well on the test?” He needs to smile and be smiled at and give hugs and receive one back. He needs social interaction.

In a good period, he might be there almost every day, and stay for hours. Other weeks, he doesn’t make it at all, being tucked up in bed all day. Some weeks, he can come by a couple of days, stay short or long, but always in need of a bit of recovery time afterwards.

The only problem about spending his time at Miranda’s is that those people that work there are there to do exactly that; work - neither they, nor Jensen, has time for Jared to distract them from work, so it didn’t take long before he started to grow bored just sitting there.

Sometimes, old college-friends of Jared would come by, for coffee or lunch, but they would never stay long. It wasn’t until Jared explained it to him, why they never stuck around, that Jensen realized that many of his competitors had something Miranda’s lacked: free internet.

~*~

After a while, Jared started joining the staff behind the counter. “After all,” he said “I know the drill” and he explained he could make up for all the time he distracts the staff from doing their job.

“You know I’m not paying you, right?” Jensen said one day, as he tried to squeeze his way past Jared to get a loaf of pumpkin seed bread from the top shelf.

“I know other ways you can pay me,” Jared tried, only to get the evil eye from Jensen.

“Don’t even try,” was all he said.

When Jared had served customers every day for two weeks straight, Jensen saw the need to sit him down. “Seriously Jared, I can’t pay you! When you quit and got disability, I had to hire people to do the work you used to do. I can’t pay you as well!”

“I know that. It’s not about the money!”

“So why are you doing it?”

“Because I want to. I’m bored.”

“So bored that you want to work – for free? At Miranda’s?”

“Yeah, well… I need something to do, otherwise I go crazy! And what about helping my boyfriend out, didn’t we agree that I am allowed to do that?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean working, almost every day, in your boyfriend’s business without getting paid to do so.”

“It’s been only a few times, Jensen. We both know that there will be times that I am so sick that I won’t be able to spend any time there for weeks.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

“So?”

“So, it doesn’t feel right.”

“It does to me!”

 

And though it felt right for Jared, it never did for Jensen.

~*~

It wasn’t until they had been in Jensen’s cousin Catherine’s wedding, that Jensen got it. When Jared tried to find an answer to the seemingly innocent question, “so what do you do for a living?”

“I don’t know who I am anymore,“ is what Jared had whispered to Jensen that night after they turned off the lights.

~*~

“Are you finished packing this box?” Jared point at a moving box, mostly filled with office supplies.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jensen says while he let his eyes sweep the room one more time to check and see if he has forgotten anything.

“Shall I take it out?”

“Yeah.”

They pack down the whole store, to move it to a new location.

After he and Jared had talked about the reason why students never stuck around it the shop, Jared had an idea. He said “what about making a separated area in the shop, where it’s custom made to use laptops and charge your phone. It will draw in students that wants to work on a paper while eating lunch. They already come in to buy coffee, because your coffee is the best, but they leave again right away. Make them stay for that second cup of coffee and lunch. Offer people a place to charge their phones, and they will buy a coffee while they do it. I know students might sit long, and not spend a lot of money, so having many tables designated to this won’t make a huge enough turnover, but I genuinely think it will be a good idea to set aside a little part of Miranda’s to this customer group.”

The idea had been playing around in Jensen’s head for a while, and he had talked it over with Jared many times. “Can you work the numbers for me?” he had asked one day, knowing that Jared had a head for numbers. If you think we can make this work, after you have run the numbers, then I’ll talk to Danneel about it.”

He did talk to Danneel about it, and they decided that to do this, they needed a bigger and better location. This was the excuse they needed to finally do what they long had wanted, but never had the courage to do. They would move the shop.

Everything had to be taken down: from curtains to chairs to water heaters and knives and forks. Everything was being packed down, given away or thrown out. Jensen had been prepared for it to be a lot of work. Known that there were many things to be looked at, decisions to be made about what should happen to said thing. Should you throw away or keep it? Should it be kept at the store or at home? Can we still use it, or is it too old? All of these things he was prepared for.

What he was not prepared for was how it would affect him mentally.

 

He didn’t realize how emotional he would be. How much memories and feelings he attached to small, seemingly unimportant objects. Grandma Miranda’s old kettle for instance. It had been stored on the shelf under the old and beaten kitchen counter for years. It was a long time since that kitchen counter had been used as a kitchen counter. Office supplies had taken over a long time ago. Now it was full of binders and papers and everything Jensen needed to do the paperwork that came with running a shop. It was a chaotic office, but it had done its job.

In the new location he would have a real office at the back of the store. It wouldn’t be huge, but it would be closed off, and it would be his. No one from the staff, except for him and Danneel would ever need to go in there. They would have a small kitchen in the back, but only with a small counter. Most of the food was prepared in the store front anyway. That’s how the franchisor wanted it, and that’s how Jensen had done it.

In the years since the kitchen counter was turned into Jensen's office, mixing bowls and pots and pans had been gradually removed, and the only thing left was this old kettle. It was bulky and scratched, and nowhere as shiny as Jensen is sure it once were, but it was still a beautiful kettle. The first thing Miranda did when she came to the store in the morning was to take out the kettle, and it was the last thing to be put in place when she closed for the night. He customers were served coffee from one out of two coffee makers from the 50s, but Miranda herself would always make her own coffee in the kettle at the back of the store. He had removed most of the remaining of Miranda’s old equipment, but he hadn’t had the heart to touch the last item she ever put away.

The decision to move the store was made almost a year ago. But it had taken him this long to dare to move from the location it was first born.

“Are you okay?”

Jensen notices that Jared is looking at him.

“What?”

«Are you okay? You look pale.”

“What am I even doing?”

“Is it tough?”

Jensen just manages to nod. He finds neither words nor voice to describe the storm that takes place inside him. "I did not think it would be so tough."

"What is it that is so hard?"

"I don’t know. Everything. Memories. It's a bit like losing grandma all over again."

Jared has abandoned everything he was about to pack down and sit down next to Jensen. A box full of Miranda's cookbooks works as a chair, and Jensen holds his head in his hands. "When we packed her house, and shared plates, cups and bowls between us, I thought that would be the worst.  
Everything that belonged to the store came to me, as I bought it from my mother and uncle, but I

realize now that I really pack away the legacy of grandma and grandpa. This was their life. It was in here they spent their days. It was here that they unfolded and flourished and lived out what they dreamed of. What if I'm wrong? "

"What do you mean?"

“What if I lose the essence of Miranda’s by moving? By making too many changes?”

“You won’t!”

"Are you sure?”

"Yes," Jared grabs Jensen’s hands. "It was not the house, and the kitchen counter that represented Miranda's, that was the soul. It was the people who filled it. It was the love and the skill that was put into business. It was the service they gave to their customers. Customers who came back time after time because they got the little extra here that they couldn’t get anywhere else. "

"But that’s not there anymore."

"Isn’t it?"

"No. What they got here was _grandma's pastries_. Nobody could bake like her. And is long gone. Now the baked goods are exactly the same here, as in all other stores in the same chain. Miranda's grandma and grandpa's pastry shop, where they stood for the entire production line. Everything was baked in their kitchen. Now it's a franchise, it will never be the same. "

"It has been a franchise for years Jensen, and that didn’t change Miranda’s soul, and neither does changing location."

"But the store itself was retained. What is left when both the pastries and the premises have been replaced? Is there anything left of Miranda's then? "

"You're left."

"But I'm just ..."

"No, Jensen, _you_ are left! And _you_ are Mike and Miranda's grandson. _You_ are the one who sat in Miranda's kitchen summer after summer. You are the one who loves this store, loved it enough to take it on when the rest of your family said enough was enough. You are the one who deserves the credit of bringing it forward, take it to the next step. It's yours. It is a result of Mike and Miranda’s labor, but also of your’s. You can bring it to it’s full potential if you’re not scared of taking the next step.”

“And if I fail?”

“Then I’m here to catch you.”

~ *~

They won’t move far, just across the town square. It is only 102 steps from Miranda’s to the new location. The new location is lying on the corner of the square, facing the main street, where the busses goes and the tram stops. There will be more people rushing in to get a hot drink to warm their hands on cold days there, as there are more busses stopping there than in front of their current location. It’s not only the local route stopping at every little corner of the town stopping there, but in the main road, there are also busses connecting with other towns, bringing students and workers into town every morning, and transport them back home in the afternoon.

They had been looking at inventory for the new location. It had been empty for a while, ever since the Gap store lying there had moved to the new mall two blocks down, but 3 weeks ago, Jensen had received the keys to the place. He and Jared had unlocked the doors and taking their first steps into Miranda’s new locale late at night, after Jensen had worked the late shift at Miranda’s. They hardly dared to speak up, the room was empty, and no soft textures to soften the noise, and they felt their every word were bouncing off the empty walls.

“How will we manage to fill this?” Jensen barely whispered the words. “Oh my god, it’s huge.” He never could remember it being this big. It didn’t feel this huge when it was filled with clothes.

“It’s perfect,” Jared said.

And perfect it was.


	2. Chapter 2

“Have you seen my phone?” Jensen yells out to Danneel who’s busy washing the display counters. They had them installed yesterday, and the bread-shelves had been installed the day before. They had ordered a new coffee machine, an even bigger version of the one they’ve leased at the old location, and their coffee-menu will be extended quite extensively.

The entire staff, plus Jared, has gone through a course in the new coffee drinks, and they are ready to launch their coffee, lunch and wi-fi menu. The room is L-shaped with the wi-fi section will be located in the smaller part of the L, and the ordinary tables in the largest part.

They are just a week from opening, and only 5 days away from hosting Jensen and Jared’s wedding. Danneel wants everything to be perfect, and she reminds Jensen of that every opportunity she gets.

“Lord help me, Jensen, if your head hadn't been screwed on,…”

“I would have lost it, I know, I know. I don’t have time for that, I am late.”

“What for?”

“We have a tuxedo fitting scheduled.”

“We?”

“Jared and I! You don’t have anything.”

“No, I mean, are you even supposed to see each other before the wedding?”

“We live together!”

“In your tuxedos, stupid,” Danneel says as she picks up her phone.

“That’s brides and wedding dresses. News flash, there won’t be any brides in this wedding! What are you doing?”

“Calling your phone,” she says just as his inner pocket starts to buzz.

“Huh, I had it here all the time? Great! Got to go, bye.”

Jensen has been more distracted than his usual self lately. One could easily put it down as wedding -stress and reopening – nerves.

And it is. It is completely normal to be nervous before your wedding.

But Jensen isn’t nervous about the wedding itself. The ceremony will be fairly simple. They have booked a civil ceremony in the city hall. The wedding party will be hosted at Miranda’s. Why spend money on booking a location, when you own one yourself?

The idea of doing it the weekend before they would open Miranda in the new location sounded like a wonderful idea at the time. Now, Jensen think that they hadn’t quite realized how stressful it would be to do _both things_ at once. The one great advantage, and the reason they chose this solution, is that this would be the only Saturday when Miranda would not be open anyway, as the old location is sold, and they don’t open at the new location until the Monday after.

Jensen has given the staff a chance to make extra money that day, and everyone has accepted. They will work all day – into the wee hours, to serve in their wedding. The first order to the new location has already been sent in to the main bakery; a huge wedding cake, and plenty of other cakes and pastry. A nearby restaurant will deliver dinner. Alcohol is bought in, and is currently stored in Jensen’s new office.

With Danneel in charge, and the staff on his team, he is certain that everything will go smoothly.

What he worry about is Jared. He is worried about whether or not Jared will be well that day, and even more worried about how Jared will take it, if he is sick. He fears Jared will be devastated, and blame himself for _ruining their wedding_ , for the rest of his life.

Jared was the one for first bring the subject to the table.

“So we get married in your shower,” Jensen had joked, but Jared didn’t find that funny at all.

“But what if we have invited all of those guests, ordered all of that food – Danneel has put in so much work! My god what that woman has done for us. And what if all of that just – fuck, Jensen, I might not be able to even be there. I don’t want to spend my wedding day puking my guts out.”

 

“You won’t”

“You don’t know that! You cannot know that, and you don’t get to say that, because you _know_ that it very well might happen!”

“Jared,…”

“Don’t you ‘Jared’-me, you don’t get to brush it off. I mean it Jensen, I don’t need you to try to cheer me up, I need you to face the fact that there is a fucking great chance that I will be sick that day, and if I am, then I have no idea how I will get around that.”

“So what do you want me to say? I don’t see how it helps that we both panic about it?”

“I don’t know! I want you to say that you know. I want you to say that…. I don’t know… I want you to promise me that you’ll have a good day, even if I’m sick!”

“Jared…”

“I want you to promise me that you and all of our guests celebrate, even if I’m not there.”

“Please….”

“I want you to help me figure out how we deal with it if I’m sick. _Ineed a plan Jensen_. I need to know that even if I’m sick, that somehow we will be able to tell each other ‘I do’. And I need to know that whatever happens, that our guests haven’t spent time and money to fly in from Texas and other places, just to turn around because I’m not able to be there. I need us to make sure that whatever happens, we will have some sort of celebration, because I don’t want CVS to take even my wedding away from us. And I need to know that even if I get sick, that you won’t be too disappointed in me.”

“I won’t be disappointed in you!”

“But…”

“I won’t! “

Watching his soon to be husband in this state rips Jensen’s heart away. He would do anything for giving Jared the chance to enjoy they thought of getting married, without being scared that CVS will rear its ugly head. So the least he can do is to promise Jared that it will be okay, and to _follow up on that_ promise if it comes to that.

“You are right. It wasn’t right of me to brush it away. I never meant to belittle your concerns, and for that I apologize. You are allowed to worry about it, but we’ll figure out how to deal with everything. But Jared – never, not for even a fraction of a second believe that I would be disappointed in you if you get sick.”

“But it would ruin our wedding. I want the marriage, the wedding is just a bonus. So even if we weren’t to go through with the wedding, I would be okay, as long as we at the end of the day has said our ‘I do’s, and are committed to spend the rest of our lives together.”

 

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. If worst case scenario happens, and you are sick and unable to leave the house, we will take care of it at the first possible time once you’re well.”

“Would you be okay with that?”

“Yes.”

“But the celebration would take part, no matter what, right? With or without me? So that the guests will at least eat the food and, hopefully, have fun, right?”

“Yes, I make sure of that.”

“Thanks.”

“Jared?”

“Yeah.”

“Would you…. If we could start all over again, with the wedding plans and everything. Would you have preferred just a private wedding?”

“What?”

“Have I talked you into a big celebration that you don’t really want? Would you have been more comfortable if you weren’t worried about disappointing so many guests?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh…”

“No! I mean, no… I wouldn’t have wanted that. I mean, yeah, I would have been more comfortable knowing that it wasn’t so many guests to disappoint, but I too want a big wedding. I want to be married in the presence of family and friends. It’s not the wedding that’s the problem, it’s CVS. And as I say, I don’t want CVS to take even my wedding away. And if we had decided to do it the safe way, with no wedding guests, then CVS would have won anyway. This way it is at least a chance that we will have our wedding the way we want it.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then.”

“Thanks for listening to me.”

“Thanks for making me listen.”

 

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

So Jensen worries about Jared being sick on their wedding day. He worries about how Jared will feel about being sick on their wedding day. But most of all, he worries that he won’t be able to hide it from Jared, that he will be disappointed and sad if Jared is sick on their wedding day. Because even if he has promised Jared that it will be okay, and he knows that it is definitely not Jared’s fault, it will be a huge disappointment.

~*~

“How are you feeling?” Jared looks pale and tired, and Jensen is worried he will get sick. “Are you getting sick?”

“I don’t know.” Jared shrugs. “I’m exhausted today. A little unwell.”

“Nauseated?”

“A little.”

“Do you want to come with me to the shop, or do you want to go home?”

“I don’t know.”

“Danneel and I will put everything in place in the storefront today. Cups, glasses, cutlery. You can sit talking to us if you want. Have some coffee if you like. The new coffee machine was installed yesterday. It’s up to you, but you are welcome to keep us company if you want.”

They walk side by side toward the town square. Traffic is beginning to get heavy, and there is a cacophony of cars honking their horns as a car has stopped in the middle of the street. "Glad I'm not him," says Jensen and nods in the direction of the car with the unfortunate driver.

«Oh, I have the papers,” Jensen suddenly remembers as they pass the town hall.

“Which papers?”

“The marriage license. I stopped by the town hall to pick up our wedding license, and I also managed to get a promise that if you are not able to go to the town hall on our wedding, then the judge will come to us.”

“Really? That’s fantastic news. Thank you, Jensen!”

«You’re welcome. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

~*~

“How did the tuxedo fitting go?” Danneel asks as soon as the door opens.

“Great,” Jensen answers. “They will be ready to be picked up tomorrow.”

“Oh hi, Jared,” she says when she sees that Jared is with him as well. “Nice to see you here, doesn’t it look great?”

The store that looked empty three weeks ago is empty no more. It is filled with glass and steel, and wifi-counters of polished concrete, all on a floor made entirely out of tiles and not at all out of wood. It is subway tiles and industrial lamps, and wooden tables surrounded by couches in turquoise fabric and chairs in bulky steel. It is modern and new, and cold and clean, and just enough wood to bring in the warmth. It is the start of a new era.

“It looks amazing!” Jared looks around and takes in the sights. “It really looks amazing.”

Jensen looks at Jared and sees the expression on his face as he takes in every detail of the interior. He can feel his smile growing bigger as he see that his boyfriend really enjoys how everything has come together. Jared hasn’t been in the new location for more than a week, and a lot has happened that week. The last time Jared walked out of here, they had just finished painting the walls, and no furniture had arrived yet. It was all an empty shell.

“Would you like some coffee?” Danneel asks Jared.

“Thank you,” Jared says, “I would love a mocha.”

“Jensen, what about you?”

“No thanks. I make myself something later.”

“Do you mind if I have a little coffee break with Jared now? I’ve been working non stop since this morning.”

“Honey, you don’t have to ask, you know that.” He says and give her a peck on the head as he passes her on the way toward the back of the store. “And you’ve done great job here today.” He leaves Jared and Danneel to have coffee, while he goes to carry in some more boxes.

~*~

When he comes back in, after being away for more than half an hour, he finds Jared sleeping on one of the sofas they have put in, and Danneel busy filling the dispensers with napkins.

“Sorry it took so long,” he says “I got a call from DG design, and they had some questions about the sign. I ended up in my office.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just a little delay. They won’t be able to install it until tomorrow. They had promised to do it today, but they have had some trouble in production. But as long as it is before the weekend, it is okay.”

“Good.”

“He’s asleep, huh?”

“Yeah, he was exhausted. Is he okay?”

“I hope so.”

“He’s been sick a lot lately, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah. It’s only a few days away now. I assume it’s because of stress.”

“Tell me if there’s anything I can do.”

“Thanks. You are doing so much for us already. Thank you. Do you mind me driving Jared home? I’ll be right back again.”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.”

~*~

The house is quiet when Jensen arrives home that night, and he can smell the sour stench of vomit. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, as he put down the keys and kick off his shoes. He tiptoes toward the bedroom door, and gently pushes it open. He can barely get a glimpse of Jared’s unruly hair sticking out from under the blankets that is pulled up over his ears.

He gently closes the door again to not wake Jared up, and walk straight past the door to Jared’s bathroom on the way to the kitchen. An opened box of saltine crackers are left on the counter, and next to it an empty can of coke. He opens the fridge and take out another bottle of coke, and place it on the counter to warm up a little, before he starts making a dinner for one.


	3. Chapter 3

The night has not completely given way for day yet when Jensen wakes up for the first time on the day he will marry. This is a day he has been waiting for a long time, even before he met Jared. He has not always had a strong idea of what the day would look like or who he would marry, but he always knew he wanted to get married, that he wanted to start a family with someone. He has been blessed with a family, and extended family, that has consisted of what has looked like good and solid marriages. As an adult, he has realized that there has probably been a fair share of problems in all of those marriages, but they have worked on those, and they all seem happy to have each other.

 

He is very much aware that not everyone has had a family like that.

He feels blessed that Jared wants to get married to him. He wants to wake up each morning and chose, again and again, to live with Jared and make this relationship work.

The sound of the refrigerator door being opened and closed makes Jensen aware of what it was that woke him up so early. Jared's side of the bed is empty, but not yet cold.

Jensen get up bed and throw a glance at the clock before walking barefoot across the cold flor. Wrapped in the blankets from the bed, he walks out in the kitchen, to investigate what it has brought Jared up at this time of night.

"Hey, are you okay?" The voice, still raspy from sleep. "What are you doing up so early? It’s only ten past four?”

It’s usually around that time that Jared’s episodes starts, and they both know that.

"Needed something to drink." Jensen notice the coke bottle in Jared's hand and then the pill box on the counter. "Are you sick?"

“I don’t know.”

“Okay?”

“A little nauseated. Doesn’t know if it’s just nerves, or what. Don’t know what to do. I don’t want to not take medication, gambling on it being just nerves, and then wake up tomorrow in a full-blown episode.”

“I understand that.”

“But I don’t want to take medication now, if it isn’t an episode, and then maybe trigger another episode late tomorrow, and then I can’t take enough medication, because I used too much of my daily dose now.”

“It’s not easy, is it?”

“No.” It’s barely there, but Jensen can hear the tremor in Jared’s voice. He’s bending his head down, and the light is dim, so Jensen can’t get a good look at his face, but he doesn’t have to see to know that there are tears running down Jared’s face.

“Come here” he says and take a step toward Jared. Jared stand still for a moment before he turn toward Jensen to be wrapped up in his arms. Jensen wraps them both up in his blankets, and just hold him for a long time while Jared finally let his tears run free.

“I hate CVS!” he barely whispers, before he takes a deep breath and say it again. This time louder and then pull out from Jensen’s embrace. “I hate CVS, and I won’t let that fucking monster ruin our wedding.”

Jensen looks at him for a while, while he is holding the pill box, and eventually pops out one pill and swallow it down with coke.

“I take one pill now, just in case.” He usually takes three. “It’s not enough to abort an episode, but hopefully it will ease it enough, so that if it really is an episode, I am able to abort it later.”

“Sound like a plan.” He grabs Jared’s hand to lead them back to the bedroom.

“I put the alarm on at 6, so that I can check again, and take the last 2 pills if I need.”

“Okay.”

“Then I’ll have a few hours before the ceremony starts, so that I can at least be free of vomit and diarrhea by then. I can always stand there with pain. I just have to make sure that I don’t have to be in a bathroom.”

“I love you,” Jensen says as they climb into bed. He wishes there were something he could do, he feels so helpless.

“Love you too.”

“And by the way,” he says as they are tucked into bed again, “I hate CVS too.”

~*~

Jensen lies awake for a while just watching Jared sleep. No matter what happens this day, he is determined that he will do everything in his power to make sure this day will be filled with happy memories for Jared.

~*~

The third time Jensen woke up on the day he was getting married, it is to find Jared wrapped around him like an octopus.

~*~

Oh My God I’m getting married today, the words pops into his mind, and makes his heart jump. “Oh my god, we are getting married today.”

“I know,” laughs Jared, “didn’t you realize until now?”

It wasn’t that he hadn’t realized, it was more that everything has been crazy this morning. He hasn’t had time to think. Their mothers and sisters showed up way too early, and he couldn’t even remember making plans for them to come over According to everyone else though, Jared included, it has been in the plans for a long time. Why both mothers and sisters had to be there, is completely unknown to Jensen, but they seem to be busy enough.

They ran around, asking about their shirts and socks and shoes and whether everything was ironed and ready to be worn. They talked to each other and on the phone and constantly asked the boys to hurry. Like the wedding would even take place without them.

“People have appointments to get married after you, silly,” his sister said, making him aware that he had voiced that particular thought out loud. Apparently his brain to mouth filter isn’t adjusted for ‘oh-my-god-I’m-getting-married-today’-panic.

They have done their best to obey their mothers, and told their sisters they look wonderful - and their mothers too – and finally they are able to leave. Jensen remembered last minute that he has forgotten to eat the sandwich he had made, but it is too late to do anything about it now.

“Have you eaten?” He manage to whisper to Jared as they climb into the back of Jeff’s car.

“Yes, have you?” Jared answers.

“I forgot,” he says and give a little laugh.

“Oh Jensen!”

“I know! But I’m fine. I can wait until dinner.”

Dinner won’t be for another 4 hours, but he can go far longer than that without food. To be honest, he isn’t sure he could have eaten anything anyway, not until the butterflies settles, and he can breathe again. It’s far more important that Jared has had anything to eat.

“You look great today,” he says, and enjoy the view of Jared. Dressed up to get married, and with a radiant smile on his face.

“So do you.”

They entwine their hands and say nothing more for the rest of the drive.

~*~

All of their family and friends are waiting for them outside the city hall. The sun is hidden behind a veil of clouds, but there is no hint of rain, and the temperature is comfortable. There are smiles, and happy faces, and hugs and cameras and flashes going off, and a lot of people wishing them well.

“Are we ready to go in?” It’s Jared that asks the question, while Jensen is still a little overwhelmed by all the people being there just for of them. Family and friends having flown in to celebrate that he and Jared will promise each other to spend the rest of their lives together. So many people being happy for them, even though he knows that a few of them had needed a little time to accept that if he ever would get married, it would be with a man.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” he says, and for the first time all day, he feels completely calm.

~*~

“Do you, Jensen, take Jared Tristan Padalecki to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“Do you Jared, take Jensen Ross Ackles, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“So give each other your vows.”

"Jared, I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.Iwill always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving.Ipromise to try to be on time, but most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you.Ilove you."

“Jensen. I love you. I thank the gods every day for meeting you. You make me a better person. I promise to love and care for you and honor you until the day we die. I promise to be honest with you, to communicate with you; not only to be clear about my needs and wishes, but to listen to and respect yours as well. I promise to always do my best to make our relationship better. I promise to never take you for granted.”

Jensen has a hard time holding back the tears while Jared is saying his vows. It doesn’t matter though, because Jared has already opened his tear flood, and there is oh’s and ah’s and tears and laughter from all the females present.

“The rings,” Jared whispers, and Jensen fumbles to get them out. Damn, he was sure he would be able to do this without shaking hands. And yet, here he is, basically unable to put it on.

“Need any help?” Jared asks, but Jensen just shake his head. This is something he will do himself.

Jensen feel almost a little smug when Jared seems to have just as much trouble as he did.

“By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband.”

Jared breaks out in a smile, and Jensen is completely lost in it. He can’t believe it, he is married to this wonderful man.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Jensen and Jared Ackles-Padalecki.”

Everyone is cheering and clapping, and someone calls for a kiss.

And they do. They grin and meet in a kiss, and then one more.

~*~

“Ma, look, I’m married!” Jared says and hold up his hand so that his mother can take a look at the ring.

“I know, honey,” Sherri says with a smile, and grabs his hand. “Congratulations.” She reaches up to give him a kiss on the cheek, but Jared grabs her and engulf her in a hug. Jensen gets teary-eyed

watching them, and get even more happy when his father suddenly puts his arms around his shoulder and say “Congratulation, son. How does it feel?”

He turn his attention away from his husband and mother-in-law, to look at his father instead. “unreal.”

“Yeah,” Alan nods, “I can still remember the feeling when I married your mother. Couldn’t believe how lucky I was that had managed to make her agree to marry me.”

“Yeah?” Jensen says and toward his mom who’s standing just behind her husband.

“Took a lot of convincing,” she laughs and moves in to give her son a hug. “Congratulation, Jensen, you’re a great couple.”

“Thanks.”

“He’s a good man.”

“He really is. I’m lucky to have found him.”

“And he’s lucky to have found you!”

“That’s right,” Jared suddenly say right behind him, and Jensen can just reach out his arm to grab his husband’s hand.

“Are you ready to go, husband?”

~*~

Danneel has gone before them and greets them at the entrance to Miranda’s. The store is decorated with flowers and candle lights, and all the tables are sat together to form an L. The wedding couple’s seats are sat at the corner of the L, so that everyone can see them, regardless of where they are sat: in the main section, or in what will be the wifi-section of the store.

All the staff are lined up behind the counter, all dressed in white underneath their white aprons. The wedding cake has been delivered early in the day and are placed in the cooled tower-display at the end of the counter. The rest of the cakes and pastry that are placed in the brand-new pastry counters.

He can see the moment Jared sees it. His breath hitches and then he gets completely still.

“Really?”

He turns to Jensen and ask again. “Really?”

“Of course.”

“Wow, Jensen, I…. I have no words. Thank you!” He walks over and reach up to touch the steel. The sign mounted over the coffe machine in the wi-fi section of the store. The sign that spells out “Jared’s corner.”

“You’re my Miranda,” he whispers into the creek of Jared’s neck when Jared pulls him in a massive hug.

~*~

Jensen has to dry his tears many times during dinner, he had no idea there would be so many speeches and so many loving words about him and Jared. He can’t stop watching his husband, and feel enormous relief that Jared hasn’t been sick today. He can see that Jared is tired, but he’s happy, and that’s what’s important.

“Do you want some coffee?” he asks Jared, assuming that some caffeine would be good for him now.

“Yeah, but I want to make it,” Jared says, “to us both.”

“No, no, keep still, I’ll do it.”

“Jensen, please I want to do it,” he says and gets up before Jensen can say no more. He watch Jared as he walks up to the coffee machine. He can see that Danneel offers to make the coffee from him, but he refuse her help as well. His heart swells every time he can see Jared glance up at the sign, while he’s making the coffee.

“It looks good great,” a voice says next to Jensen and making him startle. “You’ve done really good.”

“Yeah, you like it?” Jensen turn toward the voice, and see his uncle standing beside him.

“I really do. Mom and dad would be proud of how you’ve run the shop.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, I do. I’m proud of how you run the shop too.”

“Thank. It means a lot. I was worried you might think I’ve removed it too far for what it once was.”

“Jensen, when your mother and I sold the shop to you, I sold my right to have any say in how the shop is run. You never have to worry about that. But even if I had the right to an opinion, I would have agreed to how you do it. You have taken well care of the legacy from mom and dad. Well done.”

“Thanks.”

His uncle is about to leave for his seat when Jensen stops him. “By the way, I have some old cups from the old shop, with the original logo on them. I saved a few in case you guys want some. I have enough to everyone; kids and grandkids. Just ask Danneel to get them before you go.”

“Thanks, I would love that.”

He give Jensen a pat on his back before he moves over to talk to some other guests. Jared is carefully balancing two cups of coffee back to the table, and place one of them in front of Jensen. He looks down, and smile when he the art. “A heart this time, huh?”

“Yeah, you like it?”

“I love it. You’ve done well!”

“Thanks. I think so too,” Jared laughs.

“And this you can even serve to customers.”

“Nope,” Jared says and leans in to give Jensen a kiss, “this one is reserved for you.”

~*~

It’s night, and already a few hours into the day after their marriage when Jared turns toward Jensen. “I know who I am now,” he whispers.

Jensen doesn’t answer, just rolls over to face Jared as well.

“I’m still me,” he says, “only a lesser version than I otherwise would have been.”

Jensen opens his mouth to response, but Jared silence him with a finger to his lip. “But that’s okay. Because I am still _me_.”

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Although some patients don’t know what trigger their attacks, many identify specific circumstances that seem to bring on their episodes. Common triggers are colds, flus and other infections (such as sinus problems), menstrual periods and emotional stress. Negative stress such as anxiety, family problems, and the fear of being ill is quite usual, but even more common is positive stress and excitement, like birthdays, holidays, vacations and getting married.
> 
> Do you want a chance to request a fic in this 'verse?  
> Follow this link: https://bflyw.livejournal.com/719431.html


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